Searching for Meaning
by ShiraNation
Summary: VERY AU. It's not enough for her to live for the sake of responsibility to humanity. In a world where everything has changed, Emily searches for something more. Naomi on the other hand, struggles with getting too comfortable with the changes.
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**Vampires, werewolves, sea-creatures, super-humans have all been done before. I'm not certain, nor will it make a difference, but I've come to the conclusion that by such stories being out there, it makes it acceptable for me to write a post-apocalyptic zombie story. No, I don't think it'll be about brain-eating gory deteriorating limping nasty creatures, much more tied to emotions and characters and whatnot battling the meaning of life. A large component of the story will consist of memories. It'll likely be alternating between Emily and Naomi's PoV. I'd appreciate it if you gave this story a chance.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own skins or it's characters. And if this story fails utterly it's my entire fault, as always, so are any mistakes, and poor attempts at sounded like this was written in the UK.**

Searching for Meaning: Prologue

**Emily**

_August 3__rd__, 2024_

_Where to start? Perhaps an introduction of sorts would make sense. Hi, my name is Emily Fitch. I am twenty years old and before everything, I was about to attend university for a degree in philosophy. I don't have a home anymore and I've been separated from everyone I love except for my twin sister, Katie and fifteen year-old brother, James. _

_I've decided to keep a journal to record my memories and the journey that we take out here. Everything is different now and I don't want to forget what things used to be like. When I say different, I mean different bad. Every day is struggle emotionally, physically, and mentally. I suppose this journal will also help me retain my sanity, not to say that I haven't already lost a good portion of it, but nevertheless, we are all indifferent in that respect now. It's impossible to stay normal seeing the things we see on a daily basis if we aren't in hiding. We all have our own coping mechanisms and I'm hoping that writing will suffice as my own._

_Before, we never spent nearly as much time with one another, always going our separate ways when we weren't at home. Each of us is so different from the other that it's getting harder and harder to have to spend so much time together. James coping involves looking at everything with interest and making a game out of what we have to do to survive. Sometimes things are so serious and scary we just want him to stop being so similar to his old self and act like a normal person and be afraid. Honestly, I think we snap at him out of jealousy, not being able to pretend that we are happy like him. I always question if his happiness is sincere or not. Maybe it is and it isn't. Nothing is set in black and white anymore._

_Katie is very much the opposite of him, very emotionally down and frightened. I'm scared that she won't be able to hold on much longer which frustrates the hell out of me. I can't take losing anyone else, I need her, and I won't let her abandon us, not easily or without a fight. I've spent my time putting on a strong front, not wanting James to take charge and possibly get hurt, as bothersome as he can be and as tempted as I may feel. I've pushed myself to do things I would never have imagined before, things I would never have approved of. _

_Everyday I have to tell myself that our job is to survive. It's our responsibility to keep living and that is why we keep doing the things we do. That's why I'm writing this journal, to make the responsibility less burdening. I've lost meaning and maybe this will help me find it, because to live just for the sake of responsibility won't be enough, not for long._

**Naomi**

Get up. Check the barricaded doors and windows for any breaks. Scratch off the day on the calendar. Check the food supply. _Shit, getting low. I guess I can eat less. _Clean the picture of me and Gina smiling, on the shelf. Eat a cracker. Sit on the couch that is near the door, taking a minute to listen, making sure there is complete silence inside and outside, petting the dog that's sitting next to me to make sure he's silent while I stay still and quiet for a minute, holding my breath. _Nothing. It's okay to breath. _Read at least thirty pages of the encyclopedia of the letter, 'C.' (Already finished 'A' and 'B'.) Fall asleep for a few hours before having another cracker I share with the dog and waiting for nightfall. Hear the alarm on my watch beep before getting up with the dog close behind, and checking all the doors and windows again. Making sure there are no new cracks in the wall, that all the locks are sturdy, that there is no noise coming from outside. No noise inside other than me or the dog. Take the folded blankets and put them on the couch with the gun on the floor within reach. Lay down with the dog on my lap, close my eyes. Open my eyes again and count the bullets, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. Put the gun under my pillow and get comfortable. (As comfortable as you can be, knowing you may not wake up. Not sure whether I'm more scared to never wake up or to wake up and face the same routine tomorrow.) Not sure that if I do wake up, whether I'd rather have a disturbance or intrusion among my routine or not. Being afraid of getting to comfortable of being alone and doing the routine. That is my routine until my tired body can lie awake no more. This has been my routine for the past two months.

**SO What did you think? I'd like you to know that for Emily and Naomi, the writing styles won't stay the same. That's just how I wanted it to be for the prologue. (Although Emily's will still have the journals, but also much more than that…) And the chapters will also be much longer… Just didn't want to give anything in this chapter other than their emotions.**

**You have yet to hear about what happened to make a difference between their before and after lives. Yes you know zombies fit in here somewhere, as I mentioned before… but it will be a fun ride. Do expect the introduction of the other characters as the story rolls on. I have a fair amount of direction where I want this story to go. **

**It's actually kind of sad really. Almost made me cry a little. Then again, I'm in control so that may play a part in that area. (SONG THAT CAME TO MIND for this part: "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap)**

**Please leave a review if you enjoyed it or thoroughly hated it. LOL. Either way it'll make my day. (or ruin it. ;s )**

**Thank you for your support and reading this. Let us enjoy this journey together if you'll just take my hand. -Shira (Slave to her Spontaneous Crazy Idea and Lack of Focus.)**

**For those of you who read my other stories, well, I apologize as usual, I just really liked this idea… and I have writers block for most of the others. I do expect to return to them every now and then; just all depends on my mood. So please accept my apology and look at this with an open mind… **


	2. Chapter 2: Comfort Zone

**Hello everybody… I'll get right to it… thanks if you are still reading…**

Chapter Two: Comfort Zone

I can see Katie's temper boiling from the old pillow on the floor I'm sitting on. We are on opposite sides of the shack doing absolutely nothing and James is mindlessly flicking around a ball of paper on the floor. James, you better stop that. I see Katie bite her lip and try to look away. She tries to casually cover her ears to ignore the *flick *flick *flick sound, but she's had enough.

"JAMES WILL YOU FUCKING STOP THAT!"

_August 4__th__, 2024_

_Observation #1: Katie used to give us warning before exploding, but now we all do our best to hold in the bad things we have to say from each other. In the old times, had Katie gotten mad like that I would've thought it was coming out of no where. But really it's just bottled up anger, her keeping her thoughts inside until she can't any longer. Unlike her, I still give forewarning if I'm in a bad mood. But that is still different from what I used to be like. I used to keep quiet, all my feelings were hidden. Now I share them because there's no where for me to run and no where left to hide them from the others, I'm forced to confront them and to try and move on. James still hasn't said anything or shown any feelings and it worries me._

"NO. I'M FUCKING BORED. DEAL WITH THIS SHIT." *Flick*flick*

"FUCKING HELL. I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE." Katie is standing and clenching her fists.

"YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE KATIE! THERE'S NO WHERE TO FUCKING GO!" James is on his feet and is gesturing angrily towards the door.

"I DON'T CARE! I'M TIRED OF THIS! We just do nothing everyday, fucking nothing at all. I'M GOING FUCKING MAD!"

I watch the fight in silence, taking slight happiness that James is finally showing some sign of normality. That he actually isn't deliriously happy with everything.

"WHAT ARE YOU SMILING AT, BITCH?" James is now looking at me expectantly, and I quickly shift my smile into biting my lip before deciding to tell him what's on my mind. I cough to clear my throat and make my husky voice as audible as possible.

"This is the first time you've acted angry." Katie is just as intrigued and I can tell that she too is feeling as happy as I am at the realization, she must've been worried also. James looks to her and sees she also is trying to cover up her sudden relief.

"FUCK YOU BOTH. YOU'VE BOTH BEEN BLOWING UP AT EVERYTHING SINCE THEN AT RANDOM TIMES, IF I WANT TO FLICK A FUCKING PAPER BALL LET ME DO IT IN PEACE."

He sits on the floor and goes back to flicking. Katie and I meet eyes and we start laughing. It feels so good I don't want it to stop. James stops flicking and can't help but join in; it's the first time we've laughed since everything and it's wonderful. When we finally stop I can see we are all crying. We've all noticed that it was the best, most normal moment we've had in a long time and it just ended in a matter of minutes. James whispers something, slightly startling Katie and I.

"I-, I just think we need to do something other than sit in this fucking shack…" He wipes away his tears, trying to resume his normal strong and happy front. But when I get up to hug him he gives up and allows himself to cry. I vaguely notice another pair of arms wrap around me and James. We pull away after awhile, sitting in a circle on the dirty rug.

It's time we all talk about what we are feeling.

"Go on James." I encourage him, needing to hear what we are all thinking, but are too afraid to say.

"We need to leave the shack, for good."

I search Katie's face for a reaction. She clearly has been keeping something from us and this is the perfect opportunity for us to all voice our thoughts.

"I think we should look for mum and dad." She says.

"I think so, too." James agrees with her, and now they are both looking at me. Trying to analyze what I'm thinking. I feel terribly guilty about what's going through my head, but I can't help it.

"I'll do it. For Rob." I finally say. They both reach over and hug me but I shrug them away, more has to be said. "Our food is almost gone, so we were going to have to go anyway. I've been keeping a few maps I've found on the few times we had to go out. We should be able to come up with a route to take and stick to."

They watch as I get up and pick up the pillow I had recently vacated. Under it is a small stack of papers that I grab and toss between the two looking at me, before returning to my seat next to them. I take a deep breath preparing to share information that I've kept hidden from them for so long.

"Rob said he'd be staying at the gym with Jenna and a few others."

"WHAT? You've known where he was? The whole fucking time and not told us? You can't do that Emily! WE ARE A FUCKING GROUP. Fuck sake, don't do that. Please…" Katie goes from anger back to her hopelessness self in seconds.

"I didn't tell you guys because when the radio was still working it said there were mass casualties in the west. The gym is far west of us and I didn't want to give you false hope. I don't know if they stayed there or even if…" I didn't want to admit out loud what we were all thinking the past few months on the rare occasions we let ourselves think about Rob and Jenna., "but if they are, then that's our best chance at finding them."

"Okay." James says, pulling one of the maps closer to him to start studying it.

"Yeah." Katie agrees before mimicking his actions. I know she doesn't really know how to use a map, it's more about the gesture than the actual use of the map that means anything to me.

"Okay." I say out loud, more to myself than for them. I knew that this day would come, when they'd want to leave the shack. It's not like we have a choice, if we stay here we'll starve. It's as simple as survival and maybe searching for Rob and Jenna will bring some more of that meaning I'm looking for.

_August 5__th__, 2024_

_We've decided the route we are going to take. I've taken responsibility for the maps and making sure we don't get lost. I've guessed that it will take us approximately a week to get there if we can go at a constant rate of at least twenty miles a day. We would normally be able to do more than that, but odds are it won't be easy to just walk normally out in the open, and we are all working with low nutrition and lack of energy. Sure, there is the adrenaline rush of actually going somewhere giving us all a bit of bounce this morning but I'm not sure how long that's going to last. _

_Each of us has a backpack carrying anything we could find useful from the shack; extra clothes, the leftover food, batteries, flashlights, a couple lighters and matches, a few books for kindling, and light blankets. My journal is small enough to fit in the pocket of my torn jeans. _

_Everyone is pretty silent right now. I keep checking out the window, looking between the boards. Katie is nervously watching me for any reaction to what I might see. So far I see nothing unusual, just the same abandoned road with broken houses. Nothing that we are all secretly dreading. _

_Each of us is carrying a metal bat, thankfully lightweight. James actually found a spare one that he's tucked into his belt. I thank the stars that whoever used to live in this shed must've had a thing for baseball._

_The sun is lighting up the shadows and it's time for us to go. I'll write more later, if we don't run into any problems._

"Let's do this." James mumbles, starting to remove the boards from the door. We decide it's best to stay quiet, not wanting to call any attention from what could be waiting for us outside. I watch for movement as he slowly opens the door, trying to make it creak as little as possible. Katie is holding up her bat, ready to swing at anything unexpected. We're all a bit jumpy, very alert to everything. It makes me nervous that nothing happens; that we have no excuse to stay in the shack any longer.

I can hear Katie take a deep breath next to me as we step out of the shack for the first time in two weeks. Our eyes take a minute to adjust to the bright sunlight. At least the walk won't be in bad weather. We all start to walk down the street, our hands gripping the bats, our eyes constantly looking from left to right to behind us and then back up the road, never stopping to stare at anything for too long. It's scary looking into the darkness of the open windows of the houses. Every now and then a front door is off its hinges, and we can only wonder about how that happened.

The only noises audible are our feet dragging along the gravel of the road as we move as quickly as we can, not wanting to linger more than we have to. Not even the sounds of birds chirping grace our ears, nor the rustling of leaves in the trees. Most of the trees are burnt stumps now, remnants of the beginning.

It's probably been three hours and we've walked around ten miles. We pull out one of the few valuable water bottles we have left and each take a swig from it, not caring about sharing germs or the dirt visibly caked on it. The placed we've stopped is the beginning to the main road that we were going to try and take for as long as possible. The residential surroundings have ended and the road is lined with small shops.

As I put the water away I search for signs of something, anything. Katie is the first to speak up since we left the shack.

"You sure we should take the main roads? Not shy away from them?" She sounds scared.

"The main roads were the first places to be invaded and abandoned. I don't think there will be anything left here."

"Look there's a grocery about a block away; I think we should go out of our comfort zone and check it out. We're low on food and maybe the scroungers didn't take everything."

"Why _wouldn't_ they take everything?" Remembering the beginning was terrifying, all rules of humanity had been trashed and it was free for all. People who were called "scroungers" broke into all the places and took anything they'd need to survive, neglecting to think about anyone but themselves. Greedy bastards. It was highly unlikely we'd find anything, and to say I wasn't interested in going inside a dark grocery store, when we haven't even seen what we are up against in a long time, is an understatement.

"Because you know how they were, always rushing, maybe the missed a couple cans a soup. What have we got to loose?"

"Our lives." Katie mumbles, yet doesn't go unheard.

"Starving to death isn't much better than getting eaten by a fucking zombie." James was serious.

"Don't fucking say that." Katie stopped mumbling and her irritability was clear as day. I stood between them to avoid any conflict; violence was not going to help anyone.

"Stop pretending they don't exist. We've seen them before and we know what they can do. Fucking accept reality and deal with it, I have. And in my reality, I'm fucking hungry and I'm going to check out that grocery store." James starts to walk away but I quickly grab his bat that's swinging in his arm making him stop and turn to me.

"James, I'll come with you. Just please, let's not do this stupidly, we have to use our heads or…"

"Or we won't have them anymore, I got it." He came back to me as I released the end of his bat from my grip. Katie winced at his words, yes, she had been trying to hide from reality, and I knew I couldn't protect her from it any longer; it was time to buck up.

"Katie, I know you don't fancy the idea." She scoffed at me. "Okay, I know you hate it, but it isn't an option, food isn't going to fall out of the sky… so we've at least got to try looking for some."

"I know. I get it. I just… I'm fucking scared and I hate this, at least when we were in the shack we didn't have to make choices like this."

"Yes we did, we had to choose to hide or go looking."

"But we didn't go looking for two months, did we?"

"No, not unless we had to, and right now I need you to trust James and I that we have to now. That we are doing what's best for us okay?" I lift her chin up so she's looking into my eyes. She nods hesitantly.

"So you're just going to waltz in and check their shelves?" Katie sighed, I knew she wasn't going to be that easy to convince.

"First we'll check if it's infested, and then yes, we'll waltz in with our bats and check their shelves." James chimed in, glaring at Katie. God, this was going to be rough, I just hope Katie get's used to this and fast because she and James being on opposite tracks isn't helping anyone.

"Katie would you rather wait outside or come in with us?" I asked, giving her shoulder a squeeze to get her to answer me honestly.

"I don't want to be alone; can't you just wait outside with me and let James do the looking?"

"You know I can't let James go in there alone."

"Fuck, so you can leave me all alone but not James…" She looked hurt, even though that wasn't what I meant.

"Katie, think of how happy we'll be if we find that food, yeah? Just focus on that, please..."

"Fine, I'm coming inside with you. If things go wrong you better not ditch me or I'll fucking kill you." Katie started walking ahead of us and James quickly ran in front of her, taking the lead. I swear I saw an excited look on his face. I ran to catch up, pacing myself not to waste any energy incase we needed it shortly.

We were all perched on our knees looking through the store window searching for movement. It had been at least an hour of nervous flicking our eyes to imagined movement in the darkness before James stood up, our eyes on him.

"Let's fucking go already." He started to open the entry door, all of had our flashlights on and our bats rose up above our heads. We decided to inch along the wall so as not to get lost in the darkness. We were completely quiet; aside from the nervous breathing we were trying to keep steady.

"OW!" James back grazed along a switch on the wall and we all stood there shocked as the lights switched on. Our flashlights were turned off not to waste any battery power left in them. I still held it though, in case the power went back out and we needed it in a rush.

"I thought all the electricity was out." Katie was looking at the lights in shock.

"Me too, maybe it's working in some places, or perhaps this place has a back-up generator that hasn't been used at all." I whispered, still not comfortable with the sound of our voices in the silence of the store. I looked around again, checking for movement. The store was trashed; it looked as if it had been invaded a long time ago. There was a faint smell of spoiled perishables that would probably get stronger as we started to look around.

"Did you guys ever see that movie Zombieland?" James brought up randomly, bringing a smile on my face.

"No." Katie said, surprised by his question. I on the other hand nodded, I used to love zombie movies, especially Zombieland because it was a fantastic comedy on them.

"Right, well Katie, there's this really fat zombie in a grocery store they search and they pretty much make a game out of killing it. So, point is, if you see a zombie the way to kill it is to aim for the head, I think. And they are usually pretty slow, and remember they can't think so your brain is the best weapon against them, kind of. I mean if you are pinned to the ground by one, fists might be a bit better…"

"James, get to the fucking point." I swat him over the head, regretting it when I see him wince. I forgot that we were all weak.

"It's okay, Emily." He looks at me smiling a little, I used to hit him all the time, maybe the familiarity made it okay. "The point is…I don't bloody know. Just aim for the head if you see one."

"James, has it occurred to you that zombies were completely made up until now, and that everything you know about them is not inferred on actual knowledge, but instead on a bunch of bored boys, so anything you say about them may be absolutely not true." We are all still standing against the wall, but our mouths are gaping at Katie's logic. It's true what she said, but what James says surprises me more.

"I think something out there gave them the zombies idea for a reason, to teach us all, so excuse me if I decide to take the advice I've learned from movies because really that's the only thing that can give us an inkling of an advantage. Now, I'm fucking hungry so I'm going to see if there is anything to eat around here. I'd take anything, even if it tasted worse than Jenna's cooking." He starts to walk away down one of the trashed aisles. We laugh lightly at the memory of her horrible cooking before following him cautiously.

"At least don't do that stupid thing in movies where they always split up… I'm always like 'no, don't do that, that's how everyone always gets killed one by one'." Katie inputs.

"Sure, Katie. I can agree with that." James says before kicking around a few heavy bags of salt that have been ripped open and scattered on the floor. I roll my eyes, at least they were agreeing on something. Not to mention, just the whole idea of talking about movies and actually comparing it with reality was enough to put a genuine smile on my face.

"Holy shit, if Gordan was here…" We all stopped to stare at what James was looking at around the bend.

**How do you like? I enjoyed referencing Zombieland, god I loved that movie. I personally found the whole movie referencing kind of amusing. I really think I've managed to capture how they'd all act if they were in an actually in this situation. **

**Tell me what you think! (Thanks reviewer/alerters/favs)**

**-Shira**

**PS, there won't be Naomi until later. Soon. But later. And when she is. It'll be like, WOAH.**


	3. Chapter 3: Lost Time

**If you are sensitive and weak-stomached you may want to skip a few lines. That concludes this announcement. Thank you. (Oh, and I really appreciate the reviews. I'd love to know your thoughts after this exciting chapter.)**

Chapter Three: Lost Time

I could hear Katie retching behind me, which wasn't good. We certainly needed to retain any of the food we had eaten, so I quickly tried to calm her down and make her take deep breaths. I turned around to see James squatting over the sight that set Katie off.

"He must've been shot first, and then whoever shot him probably battered his head for good measure. Bet that person knew a thing or too about zombies, see there's a myth that anybody who dies, after you know, will come back as a zombie unless you smash their head before they do so."

I held up Katie's hair, a knotty mess, since none of us had showered in ages. We didn't even really smell each other's stenches anymore. She threw up some more, before I told James with my eyes to shut up.

"James don't touch it." He was about to poke it with his bat. Some things will never change about that boy. He pulls away his bat with a cheeky smile before standing up and taking a last look before he started to walk past the body sprawled out on the floor. He's careful to avoid the blood-stained linoleum surrounding it. I follow him with my eyes and watch as he bends to pick up a dented can. He drops it when he sees blood on one side.

"He must've been protecting a stash. That's probably why they shot him first. I don't think anyone would give up their food so willingly. Bet'cha they missed a few cans."

Katie wipes her mouth with her sleeve and I let go of her hair carefully stepping around the body, knowing Katie isn't far behind, I can hear her whimpering quietly. James puts his finger over his mouth signaling us to be quiet and he raises his bat making his way towards a door labeled 'employees only.'

It's already open a crack, there is no light coming from inside of it, no noise either. I hear James sniff, probably trying to see if he can smell what he thinks a zombie smells like, but I don't think it would be much different from the strong and horrible deathly scent coming from the body only a few feet away. He reaches out slowly with has bat pushing the door open and what we see scares the shit out of me more than the body.

I feel a sharp pain rip through my arm as I lean over James to get a better look at what the light pours into the room revealing what I think I saw. I feel myself collapse on the floor and the small *click* sound over and over. Before everything fades to black I lift my head up a little and my eyes lock with blue ones so very much alive.

**LATER…**

I hear a screaming and realize it's me, the throbbing in my arm has increased immensely, and then there are soothing calm sounds coming from my sister nearby. I open my eyes and see blood coming out of my arm. James is leaning over me, poking at the point where the pain is erupting.

"It's almost out Emily, just hold on a little bit longer."

I taste blood on my lips as I bite down hard enough to pierce my lip. Katie is wiping away at the tears on my face, her contact bringing only a small distraction to what I'm feeling. I let out one last cry before James has moved away from me, his hand's bloodied. He comes back quickly and the pain is doubled, I see him emptying one of the water bottles over the wound, and I desperately try to tell him not to waste the water but I can't get the words out.

Katie can read my thoughts, "Shhh, we have to Emily, otherwise it'll get infected."

I hear a faint ripping sound and see that James has pulled out one of the shirts from the bag and is making a bandage. I squeeze my eyes hard as he wraps it tightly around my arm. "Need to make pressure to stop the bleeding." He mumbles, obviously not happy about hurting me.

After a few minutes my arm goes numb and I stop crying. I wince as I try to pull myself up out of Katie's lap who's helping me. I almost shriek when I see the two blue eyes staring back at me. My eyes notice a black gun on the floor before looking back to her, I know shit about guns so I couldn't exactly figure out what kind it was. It was definitely a small though, probably the kind that police men use. Once again, that was only my movie knowledge thinking for me.

"Who the fuck are you?" I manage to spit out. She stares at me blankly. Her face is emotionless but her eyes are saying so much that I can't even begin to understand.

"She doesn't talk." Katie said to me.

"How fucking nice." I mutter.

"I don't think she meant to shoot you Ems. She probably thought we were… you know." I hear Katie rationalizing and see something flicker on the girl's face that quickly disappears, probably fear.

I sit there in silence not noticing James get up and go into the room behind her. I'm trying to learn as much as I can about the girl who won't talk. Her skin is pale, her hair is brown, and her eyes are strikingly blue. They know so much but don't want to tell me, and I feel a yearning to want to know that I can't help from having. Her slim arms are bare, poking out through her long t-shirt dress that has some black and white portrait of an iconic singer on it. Her bony legs are folding underneath her, clad in black tight leggings. I can't help but wonder when the last time she ate was she's so skinny. My eyes finally rest on her silver bracelet. I squint to try and make out what the charm says, _'Effy.'_

"Is your name Effy?"

Blank stare.

"Look you don't have to fucking talk, as nice as it would be, but nodding or shaking your head would do a great deal."

I think she just smirked at me. _What the fuck? _I quickly forget about her when James steps out with cans of food falling out of his arms. He's smiling the brightest smile I've seen in months, possibly brighter than any smile I've ever seen before everything.

"Lunch anyone?" He starts to toss each of us a can and then passes around a knife to cut open the tops. Effy doesn't take hers, she just watches as we all gulp down the food as fast as we can get it down our throats. I regret eating so much all at once because my stomach starts to ache. I notice a similar response from Katie, but James just opens another can and downs it all. We haven't eaten anything close to a full meal in awhile and this was a lot to take in all at once.

"How much more is there James?"

"I'd say like a hundred. Probably enough for a few months…"

I couldn't help the thought that popped into my mind.

"Effy, did you kill that guy for his stash?"

She says nothing and I wonder if maybe she did intend to kill us. I wonder if she actually did mistake us for zombies. It was then that I realized the ammo part of the gun was lying beside it, empty. She must've ran out of bullets. I had no idea what we were going to do with this girl.

"So Emily, what are we going to do?" James is standing behind Effy and gesturing towards her with his head as he eats another can. I normally would tell him not to eat all our food, but we have so much and he hasn't eaten well in ages that I stop myself from saying so. Katie too is looking at me for answers. I also notice the blue eyes questioning me as if to say, _"Yes, what are you doing to do with me?"_

It's then I make a decision I don't think I would have ever decided if I were in my right mind.

"We take what food we can and continue looking for mum and dad." As expected, Katie shouts at me.

"But Emily, you heard James, we have enough food here for all of us for months, why would you waste that?"

"We'll take what we can with us, but I'm not going to just sit here and waste away now that things have started to look up. I think this is a sign that there might be more good news out there. We even found another living person for fuck's sake. Have you even thought that we could've been the last one's living?"

Katie is silenced as if what I said just struck her. I knew it wasn't the first time any of us thought everyone had died or turned. After the first week of the change we had lost all contact with people, both directly and indirectly, so there was no way to know. Meeting this Effy girl, even if she was psychotic, meant something very important. It was a sign there were still probably people out there. That others could've survived as well, that Rob and Jenna may be alive.

"Alright." James went into the back carrying all our bags and I could here him starting to fill them. I knew Katie agreed she just wasn't ready to talk yet. I then looked at the other person who wasn't ready to talk. "Do you want to come with us?"

She looked kind of shocked at the question. I was kind of shocked myself when she nodded. Only once, but it was definite. One more thing needed to be addressed. "Are you going to harm any of us?"

She shook her head, once. I think she even mouthed the word, 'No.'

"Good. You get to carry my bag now cause my arm is shot. Pun not intended." I heard Katie snicker the lame phrasing. "Eat something, otherwise I think the bag will outweigh you…" I opened a can for her and pushed it to her. She hesitantly took it and started at it a few minutes for closing her eyes and starting to drink. Tomato soup was probably healthy for all of us, I read one of the empty cans nutritional information and was satisfied, perhaps it'll allow us to walk a bit faster.

I remembered that we still had ten miles we were supposed to walk today to get to our next check point. We had lost a fair amount of time, and I'm not sure how long I blacked out. I checked my old watch. _Shit. _We'd lost at least five hours in this shop. It was probably going to be night soon, and there was no way in hell I wanted to be out in the open then. We had to find out where we were going to stay and fast.

Katie noticed the sudden worry on my face and called James, he came running in with his bat in his hand.

"What is it?" He asked nervously.

"We only have an hour until dusk. We need to find a place to stay." I looked between the two of them for help but Effy abruptly stood up and started to walk into the room we first found her in. I stood up, crying out at the pain in my arm that was brought to my attention by the movement.

"You need a sling for that." James said. I nodded painfully. I ignored the hurting while he pulled out the rest of the torn shirt and started to gently tie it around my shoulder and place my arm into it so that it was hanging against my body unable to move too much. I could see it getting extremely frustrating later on, only being able to use one arm, not to mention should I need to, it would be a hell of a lot harder defending myself. I pushed away my fears and remembered that Effy had disappeared into the back room. I walked towards where I thought she went with Katie behind. James walked in front of me, already familiar with the room.

I gasped when I saw shelves all along the wall filled with cans. For a minute I was tempted to stay here as long as we could, but I forced myself to think about the ultimate reason I had decided to leave here. _Maybe you'll find her. No, don't give yourself false hope, Emily. _I shook my head as if to shake the thought away. Effy appeared and was closing the door behind us, there was an intricate lock system all along the door that she was putting into place. I sat down on the floor and watched as she did so before she went back to sitting underneath a desk in the corner of the room.

There was no windows in here, just one door keeping us in and anything else out. The room was comfortably small, so you could see everywhere all at once. There was a desk with an old computer that looked like the screen had been busted open. A few papers were scattered on top and the drawers were all closed. The floor was carpeted and was much softer than sitting on the linoleum before. I watched as James pulled out the blankets and laid them on the floor motioning for me to lie down.

"Get some rest Emily, you'll need it the most with that arm of yours."

I hated knowing that I was now probably the weakest link of the group. It was forcing me to allow them to take control, which I had so long ago fought for and finally won, only to have it taken away now when I needed it most. It was keeping me sane, distracting me from the struggles we had, knowing I was doing my best to get around them.

It was hard getting comfortable with my arm always getting in the way. Sleep wasn't too far along and it was partially welcomed when it eventually took over and put all my thoughts and worries temporarily at rest.

I can hear moaning and the faint sound of dragging. A few grunts. They are getting closer. _Am I awake?_

**THERE YOU GO, another quick chapter. Aren't I lovely? :)**

**Hope you liked the intro to Effy… I think it's great how everything is fitting together rather nicely. Shame that man had to die, not that he's anyone important… Oh, and I would've had Katie get shot instead of Emily to parallel the rock but I decided under the circumstances Katie would be too much of a complainer, and that would make the story annoying as hell. It just fits this way. So that's my take on it. **

**Let me know what you think? Thanks.**

**Shira (That makes 3 updates in one day. Impressive.)**


	4. Chapter 4: The Truth

**This story just keeps flying out of my fingertips… so enjoy it while the updates keep coming fast?**

Chapter Four: The Truth

My nose wrinkles up as the horrible stench I woke up to, is replaced by smoke. I open my eyes and am startled to see the faint glow of the end of a fag scarcely lighting up Effy's face. The only other light in the room is coming from a very narrow space between the door and the floor. There it is again, the moaning.

"They'll be gone by the morning." Effy whispers, exhaling another puff of smoke before taking a couple more drags and putting it out on her shoe. I hear James whisper and fight back the urge to scream out of surprise. I wonder if Katie's awake too.

"You got some sleep." That was obvious and blunt. He was probably searching for something to say behind his dumb statement.

"Yes." I whispered back. I hear a moaning very near the door which causes my back to go stiff. Once again, I'm reminded of the pain in my arm.

"Do you have the time?" I can here him closer to me now.

"I do. But the glowing bit is broken, so I can't tell you without any light, and I think it's best if we keep our flashlights off while they are out there."

"Oh. Right. Of course." He mumbles and I can hear him fidget with some blankets.

"What's wrong James?" I ask, knowing there is something else bothering him.

"It should have been me that got shot. We should've been more careful."

"I know." There wasn't anything else I could say, well there was, but nothing that would comfort him. Sure there was the friendly banter we used to throw at each other, but the grunting outside the door told me it wasn't the time for that.

"It makes me wonder what kind of psychos we might run into out there. You know people who've gone so mad they'll kill anything, zombie or not. Even if we have nothing to offer."

There's something else he isn't saying, the real thing that's bothering him. "And?" I push, needing him to open up some more, maybe leaving the shack was helping him put together his feelings and get him to start voicing them.

"I'm upset that I don't think I'll be able to protect you and Katie and now that Effy girl from them. Dad would think I'm a fucking pussy, freaking out cause of some stupid fear of outside…"

It hurts me to know he's feeling so badly about himself. I bet he was feeling this before we even decided to leave the shack. Putting up a strong front because he thinks he has to.

"James, do you honestly think Dad would think of you like that?"

"No." I hear him sniffle and clear his throat quietly.

"Good, because right now you're the bravest person I know."

Katie's whispering voice came out of no where, "You have to have balls to stand up to Katie Fucking Fitch like you've been doing all since yesterday night. Dad would be proud you aren't taking my bullshit. I think you're more than brave, you're crazy. Remember you were the one who suggested we go into the store without knowing what the fuck could jump at us…I'll admit it was worth it, if we hadn't we wouldn't have gotten all this food and would've probably died hungry. And Emily is smart enough to keep us out of way of the psychos… so we're good then."

I smiled at Katie's heartfelt speech. It was rare she said anything nice without sarcasm directly to your face. Not that we could really see her, being in the dark and all. That probably made it easier for her to say it and was very helpful to our insecurities. I could practically feel James cheering up a foot away from me.

"Thanks Katie, you give the best pep-talks." He whispered back after a minute of silence.

"Yeah, just don't tell anyone I said that, kay?" She mumbled, probably close to drifting back to sleep.

I laughed to myself, _Who the fuck is he going to tell? The only people we can talk to are in this room and all heard what you said… _

The loudest grunt so far made the happiness of the moment go away, as there was a loud thump near the door. It grew even louder and I could guess that there were at least more than ten of them out there, so close.

"Sssh. Sleep now." Effy whispered.

I was more than happy to oblige, trying to avoid the sick feeling I was getting, thinking about what they were probably doing behind the door. _Oh god. The body._

**MORNING…**

I felt a light tug at my uninjured arm and opened my eyes to see James looking at my watch with a flashlight. He shines it in my eyes when I take my arm back, realizing I'm awake. He sees my irritable look and turns move the light away with a quick apology.

"It's eight-thirty-three, and they stopped making noise about four hours ago. We should go now…" He starts to return the stuff to the bags. I hear more shuffling on the other side of the room, realizing I was probably the only one who was still sleeping. It made me smile knowing they let me sleep out of feeling bad about my arm, but it also bothered me that I needed the special treatment.

James grabbed my other arm to lift me onto my feet. I felt the cold metal of a bat being put into my open hand, I gripped it, preparing myself for what may be outside the door. This was worse than in the shack because here there was no way of knowing until the door was open. No peaking out of the window this time. I sensed my little brother pressing his ear against the door, and we all listened to make sure there wasn't any noise. _OH FUCK. _Katie must've been right behind me because she noticed that I tensed.

"What is it Ems?" she whispered.

"I think you should close your eyes Katie, you won't like what you see."

"Emily, how the fuck am I going to walk without seeing?"

"I'm telling you Katie, you'll regret it if you don't."

"What if there's a fucking… you know?"

"James will go out first and check. Trust me Katie."

"But Emily," Katie was cut off by Effy's quiet voice, sending chills down my spine at the coldness of her tone.

"The body."

"Oh." Katie almost gagged, but held it in, she must've been remembering yesterday. I hope she slept well. My grip on the bat tightens as the light shines into the room when James slowly opens the door. He climbs out of the narrow opening he made and comes back quickly.

"I don't see anything. Katie are your eyes shut?"

"Yes." She whimpers.

James opens the door widely and when I take a step out I nearly vomit on myself. The smell is horrid, but what's left of the body that was there hours ago is even worse. It looks like a pride of lions fought over the body before devouring the choicest bits, leaving remnants of their feast messily across the floor. I pulled myself together when I saw Effy take Katie's hand and pull her past everything towards the front of the store.

I felt the clammy hand of my brother wrap around my own, "Rest in peace," he whispered to the floor before gently tugging me away to the other two who had wandered off. I wanted to cry very badly rather than throw up now. I remembered that he must've had a life before everything, like we did. It wasn't fair to have to die like he did, he deserved a proper burial but there was no option of us being able to give it to him.

We stood looking out of the window we had only been looking into just yesterday. It was a whole new world out there now, things had changed again, now that Effy was standing with us. I heard her whisper in Katie's ear, "It's okay to open your eyes now." My sister took a deep breath before doing so. "Let's go." She said with Effy's hand still clasped to hers. Maybe this was Katie trying to cope, holding onto the new reality. I'm relieved no one questioned my decision to have Effy join us. I don't even really think it was a question to start with. It just had to happen.

The door opened, all of us out of the store before it closed, unlikely to be opened ever again. I wondered how the zombies opened the door, but I didn't want to think anymore about all the things they could probably do. Much too scary.

We had gone about ten blocks before James stopped and ran behind a wall of a nearby shop. We all knew not to question the sudden action and did the same. He slowly inched to the corner and took a look at what had caused him to run in the firs t place.

"There's two of them just standing, doing nothing, a block away in front of a shop. Not even moving." He whispered back to us.

"I think we should try and avoid them as much as possible." I tell him and then look to the two others who are nodding in agreement.

He walks past me, staying close to the wall before looking at the road on the other side of the buildings. "Lets go this way, return to the main street after we've gone passed them for a mile. They have good senses of smell and I'm not sure if we stink enough to not be noticeable. I'd rather not take a chance."

Without anything else said, we follow him as he starts to go down the street, carefully keeping his eye out for more of them.

It's been a mile now, and we've only taken one break to open up a can and split it between us for lunch. James returned us to the main road and then pulled out the maps, opening them up for me to examine. I tell him we are going the right way based on the street signs that aren't too dirty to read, in the area. When we start walking again, we have to go slower because my arm won't let me keep up, the constant motion is making the pain worsen.

After another five miles I stop completely. I feel ashamed when I notice there are tears on my face. Katie who's a little further ahead turns around and runs up to me to see if I'm alright. She calls to the others to stop walking and come over to us.

"Are you okay Emily?"

I nod looking at the ground, trying to stop crying.

"That's not what I meant, is it your arm?" She rephrases.

I can't lie to her, it would just be stupid the way my tears are contradicting myself. I nod because I can't bring myself to let us down out loud. James is looking past me and tells everyone to wait there. I lower myself onto the ground unable to even stand anymore. I can feel Effy and Katie close by, but they've stopped looking at me and are watching James. I can't see him though, he's gone behind me and I don't have the energy to turn around.

"BIKES! I'VE FOUND BIKES!" I hear his shouting and the sounds of bike chains. Katie runs to help him push them over to us. Shortly after I see a tire in front of my drooping head, I look up squinting my eyes because of the glare of the sun behind James smiling face.

"How many?" I ask.

"Three. But it doesn't matter because you won't be able to ride one on your own anyway."

I feel myself being lifted again off the ground onto my feet, something that isn't easy for me to do on my own, with one arm. "You'll ride with me, but you'll have to wear the bag."

I can already feel the pain of the pressure of the bag pressing against my arm without it even being there. "It's the only way we'll have room for both of us." I nod knowing what he's said is true.

He pulls out another shirt from his bag, "Bite on this, I don't want you to destroy your lip anymore. Yesterday you nearly made a hole."

He rips a piece and hands it to me. I awkwardly put it in my mouth but am thankful for it when I lift his bag from the ground and put it on my shoulders. It has to be on both because otherwise we'll lose balance on the bike. The pain is bad, but I tell myself that because we are on bikes we can get a lot further than by foot, which makes up for it all.

We've covered around twenty more miles, taking breaks every ten minutes for me to drop the bag and relax my arm a bit, and give James a break from pedaling hard to keep us upright on the bike. Effy and Katie don't mind at all stopping each time we do, they seem to enjoy the breaks from pushing their legs down with the pedals as well.

I figure that even though we took a minute break after every ten minutes of biking, sometimes after longer, we still covered more distance than I would've thought possible. There was hope in all of us that we'd be seeing mum and dad soon. I hid my biggest secret from them, that I wasn't so sure I was happy. It wasn't mum and dad that I wanted to see…

Katie found a shack similar to the one we first stayed in near a house. It was frightening once again to have to search it for zombies before letting ourselves relax in it's shelter, but the sleep that night made it worth it. The morning after, we got up, each of us having an entire can of various kinds of soups before resuming biking. The pain in my arm was the slightest bit better, we had found rainwater trapped on the roof of the shack which we used to wipe my wound. It wasn't in the least pretty, but at least James had removed every remnant of the bullet. I don't want to know what it would've looked like if it had gotten infected…

_August 7__th__, 2024_

_I've been thinking about what James said. Before, I never really believed in God. I had my reasons not to… but lately I've had a change at heart. Something has got to be watching over us. First we find Effy who's been a blessing to Katie, sure I got shot in the arm first, but it's healing well, which I am thankful for as well. Then there was the food, more than enough for us to have for the majority of our journey. And the bikes. Now that we have them, I don't know what it would be like if James hadn't found them. Well, it would've been horrible, no that would be an understatement. It would've been enough if we just hadn't been attacked by zombies, I think I would've been happy with that. But now we are even graced with another shelter for the night, even after we so luckily found a shack the night prior._

_Today we went at least another thirty miles. So that means… ten miles the first day, around twenty-six miles yesterday. That gives us a grand total of around sixty-six miles. I think I was generous when I thought we'd cover twenty miles by walking each day and saying it would take a week. I've gone over the numbers in my head and it would've taken us probably a month. I believe the gym is more like three-hundred miles away from our original shack. So if we cover about thirty miles each day we may reach Rob and Jenna, that is, if they are there, in a little over a week._

_I have a secret though. I am too afraid to tell James and Katie, but for some reason whenever I find myself alone with Effy she gives me some kind of knowing look. Yesterday when Katie and James were looking around the shelter and checking it, I told Effy and she spoke to me, she gave me an answer. You want to know what I told her? (I don't know why I write as if you'll answer back, you're just a bunch of binded paper…perhaps it's comforting to think of you as a person who can listen to all my secrets and not expose them to the world from the safety of my pocket.) _

_I told her that I'm not looking for Rob and Jenna. I'm looking for Naomi. Effy told me it was okay, that Katie and James just needed to be taken somewhere, it could be anywhere. I'm not sure I believe her though. I feel guilty everyday knowing really we are getting closer and closer to where I'm begging her to be. _

_If there is a God out there, the only thing I want from you is to let Naomi be there. And let her be alright. _

_Oh, and also please don't make Katie and James hate me. I didn't want to lie to them. This is just something I need to find out and I can't do it on my own. I'm too afraid of what I might find._

**That makes it four updates in one day. Brilliant. You're welcome. ;)**

**Oh, and for those of you who know what they are, I have SAT's tomorrow, bright and early so wish me luck! (Those are the scores that tell me what colleges (universities…) I can get into! SO YEAH. A bit nervous… d;slkfjg;dlsfkjg;klsdfg;lkdklajs;dlfksmf,..**

**Goodnight. -Shira**

PS, Reviews are kind. ;)


	5. Chapter 5: Karma

**Hello everybody, glad you like it so far. Been meaning to write this for awhile, but I am ridiculously overtired. (Even though I've slept, making everything all the more frustrating…) So, any mistakes or technicalities, please excuse due to my lack of brain function. Thanks.**

**(Just a side note, a lot of this writing is in reference and with the help of the book, "The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead" by Max Brooks… It's an awesome book, not a story though, really. It's an actual guide. Definitely a fun read.)**

**drama. Lots. In this one.**

Chapter Five: Karma

_To Rob Fitch owner of 'Get Fitch' Gyms,_

_(Should I find myself unable to reach you and someone else finds this journal, I ask that they attempt to deliver this letter to you, to address a few things that have been on my mind, regarding you, Dad.)_

_Most importantly, I love you and I miss you. Those two feelings grow stronger each day._

_I've lately grown a large appreciation for all those reps you made me do on the 'naughty bar' (chin-up bar, should you not be Rob, and reading this anyway with no idea what that is.) Without it, my arm that's been shot would unlikely be healing as well as it is. You should be proud of James who's been taking care of me, of all of us. He's wrapped my arm so it's out of the way, so that my hand of the injured arm is resting on the shoulder of the opposite side, protecting my front and not swinging around to throw me off balance. Just an example of the good that came out of that first-aid class you made us all take that summer before our family camping trip.(We all may have complained at the time, but right now many of those lessons are extremely useful to us.)_

_I should also thank you for taking us all to the gym with you all those times you saw us sitting lazily around the house doing nothing, because had you not, I would have to deal with Katie's constant whining over having to bike so often. All of our muscles have become so toned; I think you'd be really proud that we've become stronger even through all this chaos. _

_We even found another girl on our travels, her name is Effy Stonem. She hasn't really told us very much, but she's been good for all of us, giving us someone to talk to other than ourselves, not that she responds often. But it's good enough because we know she's listening. It's comforting. I miss you, having you around to listen to me. I really hope I'll be able to tell you all of this in person with your arms wrapped around me in our famous Fitch hug. I'd go to great lengths for one of those right now, perhaps I am… traveling in zombie infested territory just to see you again..._

_Lastly, I wanted to apologize for not putting you on the top of my priorities. I've lost track of the days, the way we've been constantly traveling to avoid the zombies and not having time to really stop long enough for me to write or keep count of anything. I think we are close to where I intend to go. _

_I've found someone who I love, her name's Naomi. We've been dating for three years, ever since I was seventeen. I'm sorry for not telling you. After Jenna found out I was gay I thought it would bring our family less trouble if I kept it secret. I didn't want to keep it a secret from you, but I didn't want to tear you between the tension that's grown between me and Jenna. _

_So what I mean to tell you, is I'm looking for Naomi before I come searching for you. I hope you understand, but without her I don't feel complete. I need to know she's okay, and I feel like somehow I can trust you (and I suppose Jenna) are doing well on your own. Unlike for you, I cannot convince myself Naomi is alright without me. I need to find her. I promise if she's not where I think she is, I'll resume looking for you right away. I'm sorry. I feel guilty for it every second I'm alive. But this is one of the few things giving me the strength to live. I'm hoping you understand. I'll see you soon._

–_Ems xoxo_

…

…

"Emily, why've you stopped?" We had all taken a break from the bikes because the seats were getting worn and our asses were sore. We didn't abandon the bikes though, we'd walk them to our next stop, in case we needed to get back on and make for a fast get away.

I brought my unwrapped arm to my face and motioned for them to be quiet. My eyes were darting the area, theirs too. However, while they were listening for zombies, I was listening for something else entirely. My heart was pounding in my ears, making it hard to hear what I was listening for. There was so much relying on what I was begging to hear that I almost passed out when I actually heard it.

"We have to make a stop." Everyone stopped listening and turned to me with their full attention. Shocked at the sudden decision I had made, without their consent, none of them knowing any reason it, except Effy.

"What the fuck do you mean stop? Our next stop is about four hours away…" Katie was pissed; she hated stopping. Stopping always meant that there was a greater chance of us having to walk in the dark. On one night we accidentally missed our rest stop and had to keep walking, James had told us he read that zombies could see much better in the dark than humans could. They had a night-vision of sorts.

"There's someone here." I whisper so quietly, they don't hear me. I'm afraid to say it out loud, not wanting to jinx what I said.

"What?" My sister walks closer to me so as not to miss it when I repeat myself. I motion for them to be quiet and just listen. They all hear it this time and their heads shoot to the direction the sound came from. "It's just a dog. Doesn't mean there's a person. We should go fast; it might have rabies or something…" Katie picks up the bike she dropped on the ground and starts to walk away. James does the same but Effy stays still near me. My siblings turn to us again realizing I'm not following, frustrated.

"Emily, as much as I hate to say it, Katie's right. We haven't seen any animal since… and we don't know if they could be just as sick as a zombie… best if we move on, away from it…" James offers gently, not wanting to push me, as annoyed as he was.

"No. I know that dog."

"Emily, don't go fucking mad on us now. There were millions of dogs before everything; you can't possibly know one dog's bark from another. Hell, we haven't even been in this part of the country before. Let's just go Emily. Please…" James was losing his temper he tried so hard to keep around us.

"James that dog would be dead if someone wasn't taking care of it. I know who's taking care of that dog." I start to walk towards the sound of the barking, stopping every few steps to listen for it again.

"How do you know it's not just found some grocery or something? Hmm? Emily you're being stupid! Stop it! We don't have time for this bullshit!" I could hear them following me despite their concerns, while strongly wanting me to turn away.

"You have to trust me!" I shout. Knowing they'll keep quiet and do as I say if they don't want me to do it again. Shouting would only alert any of the zombies nearby of our location. I was playing dirty, but I needed them to do this for me more than anything. Katie ran up next to me and started whispering urgently.

"Please, Emily. I need you. We have to find Mum and Dad."

I ignore her and keep walking down the streets in silence, keeping a cautious eye out for anything that could sway my decision or make my siblings hate me for going against them. James was cursing behind us as we made our way down a couple blocks. Every few minutes I would stop and listen, making sure I could still hear the barking, and that it was getting louder and we were getting closer.

Around an hour later I stopped in front of a large building. James read the sign on top of the entrance, "University of Political Science Dormitories." I raised my hand over my eyes to block the glare of the sun, searching for any movement in the windows that were open. We all were quiet, waiting for something to happen, or a horde of zombies to start chasing us, their moans loud and haunting.

No such thing happened. I turned towards the others knowing it was time for me to explain myself. Taking a deep breath, I found enough confidence to begin even under their unsure and annoyed gazes, "I'm sorry for lying to you guys. I just knew you wouldn't listen, and lying was the only way I could get you to come here without any big arguments…"

"And?" Effy encouraged me to continue.

"I needed to find Naomi. I need to know if she's alive. I was supposed to come here after we had dinner… the night of, you know. I can't live not knowing, so I brought us here to find out. This was where I was going to meet her, and I don't think she'd have left. That barking is coming from the dog we rescued together before everything, I know she'd take care of it even if everything went to shit…"

"Emily, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm really fucking mad at you right now. You risked all our lives for someone that none of us care about but you. Without even asking or telling us."

James sighed towards Katie, "Katie, would you have said yes if she said anything?"

Katie looked the other way, not giving an answer. James turned back to Emily, "Admittedly, we both would have said no. I suppose none of us really got hurt except for you so it's okay. Just no more secrets Emily, we are a group in a fucking messed up world, and if we can't be honest with each other than our odds of surviving goes to shit. I don't want to fight with you, as annoyed as I am about this, but I know you weren't exactly happy about searching for Mum and Dad. So it's understandable. Just promise me if you don't find her here we can leave without you trying anything else stupid, okay?"

My face lit up, happy that James took the words right out of my mouth. That he understood where I was coming from; Icould deal with them being a little annoyed, as long as they were willing to go along with it for just a little bit longer. "Thank you James." I gave him a smile, and then hugged Katie, "Thanks, Kay, I promise we'll look for Mum and Dad right away after this."

When I let go of my twin, I took a step up the stairs towards the door to get in. I pressed my face against the glass trying to get a good look inside. "There's no lights on, so probably no electricity… Stick to the walls, and don't open any doors. We'll use the staircase, she's on the sixth floor." Iignored Katie's whine, reaching for the bat out of the bag attached to my back. James helped me and pulled it out, putting it in my hand, before wielding his own.

The others did the same as well as taking out their flashlights. Effy was using the extra bat that James had found in the first shed we had vacated in what seemed like ages ago, not that it had actually been so long; just a lot had happened since then.

James opened the door, too heavy for my one-armed grip. He stepped inside the lobby and listened, sighing a breath of relief at the quiet as everyone else scampered in behind him. There was nothing other than a messy reception desk and a hallway. Taking no chances in exploring we made pir way quickly into the door that had the staircase sign on it.

The windows along each floor shed natural light on the steps, allowing us to see without wasting the battery life of our precious flashlights. The smell was horrible, alerting us that there were definitely zombies on the premises whether we could hear them or not. When we reached the sixth floor, Katie opened the door while James held up his bat to strike at anything that may be waiting behind it.

He lowered his bat and shoved the door shut right after she opened it. Only he had seen what was there, so we all waited for him to tell us what he saw. When his heart stopped racing James starting to tell us in a hushed whisper, "There are about eight zombies standing still in the middle of the hallway. It's just a long hallway empty of everything else but them. But they weren't moving so they must've realize we are here yet. Emily, what's the room number?"

"61B." I cursed to myself before continuing, "She always complained that the staircase was all the way on the other end of the hallway."

"Fuck, Emily. Really? How the fuck do you think we are going to get passed eight fucking zombies." Katie's whisper was angry and frightened.

"Calm down, Katie. Let me think." James mumbled. Everyone gave him the hopeful silence he requested. I couldn't help but feel the nervousness that we might be forced to abandon what we came for, not wanting to risk our lives. I wasn't going to let anyone get hurt because of me. My worry was swept away when James smiled at me.

"Zombies rely on scent right? Everyone give me your shirts, it's about as human smelling as we can get." We all pulled off two layers of shirts leaving us with a nice pile to satisfy him. "Good, now I'm going to run in, open a door and throw them inside, hopefully it'll be enough to catch their interest. I'll run back here and then we'll wait. Every now and then we'll check to see if they've gone inside the room. Once they all go inside I'll run and shut it on them. If it doesn't work, we can always think of something else. Zombies can't open door knobs, so I think this is our best bet."

I know it was selfish of me, but when he opened the door I didn't stop him. Thankfully, he came back quickly, Katie slamming the door shut behind him, almost closing on his ankle. I was able to breathe again when he gave me the thumbs up sign.

He caught his breath, "Fuck, that's an adrenaline rush…" He saw our hopeful looks, "I threw them far inside the room, so they shouldn't be near the door if they take the bait and I get the chance to shut it on them. I'm pretty sure they took it though, because as soon as I stepped foot in the hallway they started moving again, fuck me, they're fast. Probably 'cause they're all in good shape, looked liked they used to be a bunch of football jocks when they were living…"

I almost puked when he reminded us that the zombies used to be real people. It was always easier to think of them as animals rather than people. It's easier to kill something that wasn't once human, not that we had killed any zombies before, but still not a good thought to have…

After about five minutes he opened the door an inch and peeked outside, he gave us a nod, not wanting to speak and possibly alert their attention. Once he crept back into the hallway, sound wouldn't matter, it was his scent that would call to them, so he ran out, not minding the stomping that his feet made as they crashed against the floor, slamming the door shut and holding it tight against the zombies who were banging against the other side of it.

It had been an entire minute, and we were getting nervous, not knowing if he made it. Fear and doubt creeping into our minds. I told Katie to open the door as I looked in, smiling when I saw James starting to come back towards us.

"Whatever you do, don't open that door." He points to the room they were just locked in. Still holding our bats, we make our way towards him. As we cross the door, we try to stay as close to the other side of the hallway as possible, afraid they might actually be able to break it down. We are two doors away from the moment of truth when I start to have a panic attack.

What if she's dead? What if she's a zombie? What if she left and I'll never see her again, let alone know if she's still alive or not? I hold onto the wall for support then feel Effy's cold hands hoist me up straight.

"You can do this, Emily."

I hear a bark that sends a thrill shooting through my body, and approach the door. I attempt to turn the knob and realize it's locked. The barking get's louder, and I know I need to get inside, lifting my bat I smash the point where the door meets the frame. I smash it until the frame is in splinters and the door is free, yet still unopened. I lower the bat and wrap my hand around the knob, not breathing as I slowly twist it and push the door open.

I shriek when I see her standing in front of me, a pain is shooting through my arm, and I try to ignore it, but something pushes me back until I'm falling on the floor. My eyes blur with tears as I hear shouting around me and feeling hands grabbing at my body. Her voice sounds so scared I want to hold her and tell her it's okay, but I can't see her, and when I try to stand my body screams in violent pain.

"Emily, don't move." I lift my head enough to see that James has her pinned on the ground, her shrieking is as loud as mine, reaching untold pitches. My eyes look away to her arm that looks mangled, James bat is lying on the floor, a gun is just out of Naomi's grasp. The pain shoots through me again as my vision rests on the arm wrapped around my front, two new blood spots soaking through the bandage and the clothes I had left.

I cried as everything started to get blurry when I so desperately needed to see, I had been waiting for so long to finally see those blue eyes that were being pulled in the opposite direction. I watched as what seemed like James was pulling a squirming figure into another place, I think Katie was bringing some kind of rope to him. Her screaming stopped and the two figures returned to me, lowering themselves at my sides.

"Katie talk to Emily, make sure she doesn't fade out, she's losing a lot of blood. Effy, look around for some alcohol while I try to find something to get the bullets out. Fucking hell, why! Why! Why!"

My body was going numb, all I could feel were the tickles of what was probably Katie's hair dangling over my face as she spoke to me. I couldn't understand what she was saying, or respond. I think I was moaning at the ache that my body was feeling. I tried to move but nothing changed, at least I don't think so, the only difference was a strong pressure forcing me down, making it possible to keep trying.

"You're using a fucking tweezers?" Katie shouted.

"What the fuck else am I supposed to use?" James started pouring the alcohol that Effy found liberally over the tweezers, then over my arm.

My voice was back, and I started screaming as my numb body came back to life, the pain returned and I couldn't even tell you were exactly it was coming from it was so strong. I just wanted it to stop, even if it meant dying. I couldn't breathe it hurt so badly.

"Emily, I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. Just hang on Emily. I'm so sorry." James was mumbling, biting his lip and trying to control his hand as he wiped away the blood that was flowing from the wound. He needed it to be as clean as possible so he could get a good view inside and find the bullet. His hand was as steadied as he could get it as the cold metal made contact with the torn flesh, reaching inside and moving about searching for the unwanted intruder.

Katie was wiping away the tears pouring down my face as my shouting became louder and louder, the deeper he went. She had to let go of me and cover her ears when he finally found it and tried to clamp it with the tweezers. He slowly pulled it out and dropped it on the puddle of blood on the floor before pouring more alcohol on the wound to clean it. He ordered Effy to cover it and squeeze it no matter how hard I screamed or writhed in pain because they needed to stop the bleeding.

"One more, Emily, I promise everything will be all better after just one more."

If possible, this one hurt more than the last, James cursed to himself, "Why the fuck did it have to be so close to the one that was healing? Why, just answer me that… I'm so sorry, Emily."

I felt him make contact with the last bullet before everything faded to black.

**That's all for this chapter. Jeezus, Emily get's shot in the arm three times! (once before…) really fucking sucks, don't it? Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Glad they found Naomi yeah? Next chapter you'll probably get more insight into what's going on in Blondie's head…**

**Thanks so much for reading, Leave a review if you don't mind. :)**

**(Now kiddies, don't lie, or you'll get shot in the fucking arm. Okay?) Lol. Yes, that was rude of me wasn't it… Evil, more like. No, morbid is better. Yeah, morbid.**


	6. Chapter 6: Good News

**Any mistakes will be fixed probably tomorrow, too lazy to do it now, put this up quickly for those of you who don't mind them and just want it like, "NOW." Lol. K.**

Chapter 6: Good News

I was vaguely aware of anything other than the pain that was waking me up. I couldn't even bring myself to open my eyes. I think fear was the second thing to pop into my head after pain. What if I was dead? What if I was alive, but I'd never be able to use my arm again? The third thing I remembered was what drove me to open my eyes, _Naomi. _

"Relax, Emily. Don't move, your arm is looking shit." Effy was sitting next to the couch I was laying on. I attempted to lift myself up, despite what she said, and immediately regretted it. She wiped away my tears with a cloth and then told me to open my mouth. My jaw was aching I must've been clenching it, so she relieved some of that by putting the cloth between my teeth.

"Bite that, might distract you from the pain." What she does next surprises the shit out of me. Her nimble hands reach into the pocket of her jeans and pull out a small box. She kicks her feet up and opens the box, pulling out a fag. A lighter appears in her other hand and she lights it before bringing it to her lips and taking a drag. I must've mumbled something through the towel because she looked back to me and started talking.

"James and Katie went out to look for some stuff in the other dorm rooms, not to worry, they have their bats, and should they need it, there were a few bullets left in that gun he took from Naomi. Hopefully they find something to drink and some pain killers. None of the sinks in this place are dispensing water, and we're all pretty dehydrated… Just take a nap Emily, they'll be back soon."

I mumbled again, without thinking. She smirked at me before taking another drag and telling me the most important fact, "Naomi's in the other room, James tied her up 'cause she was pretty violent and he doesn't want to take any chances. You're supposed to keep away from her at all costs, not that I think you can actually move in your state…"

I feel horrible for Naomi that she's tied up, I'd never do anything like that to her, but there must be some reason she's acting so weird. As soon as I could, I'd make sure I went in there and checked on her, see if she's okay… The pain was becoming unbearable and the best thing I could do was attempt to sleep it away.

I have no idea what time it was the next time I woke up, but when I did, Effy was replaced with James. She must have taken the cloth out of my mouth to prevent me from choking in my sleep, so now there was nothing keeping me from speaking. "James?" My voice was extremely husky and I attempted to clear my throat so he'd understand me better. "James?"

He was sitting in an armchair with his face in his hands. I heard him whisper to himself before rubbing his face hard and then looking at me. He had definitely been crying, the way his face was red, his eyelids were puffy around his bloodshot eyes. He gave me a weak smile, clearing his throat probably so it didn't sound all whiny like it usually did after he cried, "You've been sleeping on and off for like three days Emily… Here, we found some painkillers in one of the rooms on the third floor and a stash of water bottles in a workout room." He understood the look of worry on my face, "Don't worry, Katie and I made it back in one peace." James got up from his chair and lifted my head a little from the flat couch, so I wouldn't be entirely horizontal and choke on the pill. He placed one on my tongue and then gave me some water, cursing when a good share ended up on my neck and chin because of his shaking hands. He gave me two more and then let me finish off the entire water bottle, knowing we had all been dehydrated and the warm liquid was doing wonders for my throat. He gently let my head back down and returned to his chair. By the way he was biting his lip I knew there was more he wanted to say.

"Out with it, James."

"I don't want to…"

"Come on, I can handle it." I could feel the water going through my system now, and it was giving me enough energy to keep talking. I knew it was only a matter of time before the strong pain would start to fade.

"You could've died Emily. If you hadn't had your arm blocking your chest she probably would have shot you in the fucking heart. We can't take chances like this. It's stupid, and I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I don't care if we fight, but I'm not letting you risk your life again… I just can't." He was started to cry, and I think I was too. I didn't want to hurt my little brother, or scare him. Sure, I was the one that got shot, but I couldn't imagine how hard it was for him, or any of them, to see my like this.

Relief was starting to come to me, I took a full breathe now that my body could feel something other than pain. Unfortunately, even though it had only been my arm that had been shot, I was able to feel the ache everywhere. I didn't attempt to sit up, because I didn't know how many pain pills we had left, and it wasn't worth making the pain that would return later, any worse.

I stared at the ceiling not wanting to face him with what I said, "I'm sorry James."

"Just don't ever scare me like that again, and make sure you get better. That's all I need from you right now."

I nodded, knowing he was watching me.

After what seemed like years, I was able to sit upright and give myself food and water with my other arm. Everyone took turns sitting in the apartment with me and Naomi, who I had yet to see. I think they were so stir crazy they would roam the hallways and go searching the other rooms. They were always excited whenever they came back with something new. The third floor was the only floor they deemed off limits, because the one time James entered it he saw around twenty zombies right near the entrance to the staircase. Rule was, if you left the room you had to take someone with you and you'd take the gun, but never use it unless you were about to get attacked.

Effy was the one who kept me company most of the time, she told me Katie was having a hard time seeing me with my bloody wrapped up arm. James ran into the room practically jumping for joy with Katie equally excited, behind him, each holding a bag full of stuff. Considering I still couldn't leave the couch, it was the only thrill I really got, seeing what they had found. James sat on my left and Katie sat on my right, placing the bags on the coffee table in front of us. He turned to me with a bright smile, "Emily, I think the gods are watching you, or at least feel bad because look what I found, he unzipped a bag that was full of orange little bottles with their white caps."

"What the fuck…" I mumbled in shock.

"Someone must've been a fucking drug dealer or something, it took a few days to finally break open, but I knew there was something in that safe worth our efforts."

I reached over and grabbed a bottle, taking a few of the pills without any water. I had been sparing with the meds because it was easier to deal with a half the pain than think of how much it would hurt when I ran out completely. After I swallowed, I looked to Katie who was bouncing in her seat waiting to show me what she found.

"Well, first of all, I found clothes that would actually fit us… and guess what?"

"What?"

She opened the bag and pulled out a pair of heels. I rolled my eyes at typical Katie, "Can you believe it? I can't believe someone would leave their Jimmy Choos behind. I don't give a shit if zombies are taking over the world, I wouldn't leave these babies with no one to look after them…" She cradled them in her arms with an amount of affection only Katie would have for a pair of shoes. She put the shoes down on the table then turned to James, "James wait in the hallway, I've been dying to get out of these manky clothes for a month and I don't want to wait a minute longer…"

"Katie, you forgot something…"

"Oh yeah! Emily we found a pool, we had to get the zombies into the sauna, which was quite a task, but totally worth it. So we've got buckets of water… James found chlorine in one of the maintenance closets and made it clean, so we can wash ourselves off. God, I'm so fucking tired of smelling…"

I saw James shaking his head to himself, and gave him a questioning eyebrow.

"I don't want to smell like a human, it's practically saved our lives smelling almost as bad as them. I'm just going to get the dirt off the itchy places and keep the rest of the stink. At least one of us should be able to sneak around with minimal detection…" He shrugged before bringing the buckets in and then giving us some privacy by waiting in the hall.

I agreed with his logic, and would've not washed up either, but there was blood caked to my skin and just looking at it made me want to gag… Katie and Effy stripped and scrubbed off first before changing into skinny jeans and hoodies. Katie's of course, were probably designer… whatever makes her happy.

I couldn't fathom how skinny Effy was, she must've been practically anorexic before everything, the way her bones were practically popping out of her skin. She gave me an embarrassed look when she caught me watching, which told me I was probably right. I knew the next time we all sat together and ate I'd make sure she finished her share… They both looked incredible by the time they were finished. Their buckets were disgusting looking, dirt floating at the top… I blushed when I remembered I was next, and I wasn't going to be able to do it myself. Katie didn't miss it.

"Oh for fucks sake… I'm just your fucking sister. And Effy's been here practically since day one..." She sighed and then felt sorry for me, her tone much more sensitive and loving, "We'll try to make it quick okay?"

I nodded, not interested in talking about it. Just get it over with. They pulled off my jeans and cut off my shirt with a scissors knowing I wouldn't be able to lift up my arm to take it off. It was demoralizing not being able to do this myself, but they turned away when I took my underpants. There was no way the bra was coming off because it would be impossible to put back on. I quickly washed before slipping on a clean pair of knickers and telling them they could look again. I think Katie was crying but she tried to hide her eyes behind her hair that was growing very long and wild.

I laid back down on the couch and bit a cloth as Effy took off the cloth that was sticking to my skin as gently as possible. She slowly wiped away the wounds, I tried not to stare at the wash cloth that was all bloody when she dropped it onto the floor. She ripped up an extra t-shirt and wrapped it around my arm, I winced as she lifted it just a tiny bit to get underneath it. Katie had turned away again, not wanting to see how horrible my arm looked… it was fucked up, all purple around the shots, not all the blood would wash away. And the holes were not completely shut, dead pieces of skin that hadn't flown off at impact were small but loose at their edges. I kind of regretted looking at it myself.

Sure, it only took a minute before the new cloth was stained with blood, but it felt much fresher and less itchy than the one I had been wearing for quite awhile. I took another pill because changing it had irritated the wounds a little. Katie turned back around to help Effy get the rest of my clothes on. I lifted my ass as they slinked a clean pair of jeans up my legs. I reached down to zipper it and realized it was closed when they put it on my. Damn, I was probably frightfully skinny. They slowly picked me up, I was too sore to get up myself, and they slipped a shirt over my head, minding my arm. I felt silly only having one arm out, but there was no way in hell I was going to try and slip the wounded one through the shirt hole.

Katie must've been distressed when she saw me, even though I was smiling at them with approval of the fresh clothes, because she left the room to go for a walk with James and clear her head. Effy assured me she'd be alright and told me I was looking better this morning. No one had said anything about Naomi since the accident when I was awake so I took advantage of them being out to ask Effy.

"Is she okay?" She knew I wasn't talking about Katie anymore.

"Probably not. She hasn't really eaten or drank anything for the past few days. I think James realized she's too weak to do anything because he untied her. She hasn't left the room since he put her in there. She whimpers and cries anytime anyone gets near her, even though we're only trying to help. Maybe tomorrow James will let you see her."

"Why the fuck does James get to decide if I see her?"

"Because you almost got yourself killed, and he needs to regain some sort of control to feel better about it. Don't play stupid Emily, you know that. You're feeling guilty which is why you haven't gone in their despite the pain in your arm. You probably would have ran in their the first time you woke up after you were shot if you didn't feel bad about James and Katie…"

I knew she was right, so I laid back and went to sleep, wanting time to go by as quickly as possible. I wanted tomorrow to come more than anything. Honestly, if I wasn't in pain, Naomi was the only person I was thinking about during the days…

**SO I lied, I was going to make this chapter longer, but I'd rather put the next part as a separate chapter…. It'll be up soon, maybe later tonight or tomorrow… depends how sleepy I get…**

**Leave me a review, and perhaps my sleepiness won't make a difference…**


	7. Chapter 7: Tighter

**RAWR. That's all. (Btw, apologies for the tense changes and what not. I find myself in the moment and switch to present and then somehow always wind up going back to past… If it bugs you let me know and I'll start getting more serious about picking one. Just can't make up my mind…) I'll fix the mistakes tomorrow…**

Chapter Seven: Tighter

Fuck. It's not even morning yet… It had been a mostly restless couple of hours, after trying to sleep and being unable to twist and turn to get comfortable on the couch. It wasn't easy sleeping on my stomach, but as usual these days, my arm was in the way…

My eyes are adjusting to the darkness of the room enough for make out shapes of the things close by. I reach over to the coffee table and grab a few pills and a glass of water that had been left out for me. I returned the glass to the table top then lifted myself so I was sitting up with my working arm. I bet my muscles on each arm were fairly uneven now, one being forced to do the work of two.

Katie was lying on the floor under a few blankets snoring, even though she'd argue that she doesn't until she was blue in the face. I could also make out Effy cuddled near her, unusually sleeping. She was almost always awake whenever everyone else was sleeping. On the other side of the room was a dim light where the doorway was barricaded. (Every night they propped the broken door back up and then secured it with furniture and the locks that still somewhat worked.)

The couch creaked as I took a deep breath and got myself onto my feet. I slowly crept over towards where the light was coming from. James was curled up on a beanbag holding up a book to a few lit candles. He noticed that I was standing a foot away when I accidentally coughed.

"Jesus Emily, what the fuck… you scared the shit out of me…"

"Sorry." I whispered, so Katie and Effy wouldn't wake.

He put his book down, yet kept it open and face flat so that he didn't lose his place.

"You should go back to sleep. You know, for your arm…" That wasn't what he really wanted to say, and I knew it. He was just trying to tell he doesn't want me to do what I was up for.

"James." I called his excuse out just by saying his name. I wasn't really in the mood to talk to him; I was antsy as hell from waiting for so many days just for this…

"Emily, can't you wait until tomorrow?"

"It's been over a week. I'm not fucking waiting any longer."

"Fine then, I'm going in there with you. I'm not letting anything stupid happen again."

Fucking hell, I can't blame him for being so over-protective. I open my mouth to answer, then change my mind, quickly walking away and locking myself in the other room with Naomi. He bangs on the door lightly and curses, but I hear him leave the door and go back to his position, giving up on me listening to him. I turn on the flashlight that I grabbed from the counter just before I locked the door.

I shine slowly over the room, having already been here once before, I already knew what it should look like. But now it was messy, things that had been sitting on a dresser were fallen to the floor, the blankets on the bed where hanging half off the mattress. One of the bedside tables was overturned, it looked like something chaotic had gone on in here.

I remembered my purpose and starting slowly walking over to the other side of the bed. She wasn't actually on the bed, so I was guessing that she was sitting between it and the wall. I almost screamed in fright when I saw her. Her blonde hair was long and messy, her face buried in her lap. Her arms were wrapped around her legs, and I was starting to get frightened she wasn't breathing.

I stepped closer and closer until I was an inch away, gently reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear. Her head shot up and I looked into her blue eyes that looked tired, her face was gaunt and paler than I had remembered. The second my hand had touched her, her hands unclasped from around her legs and shot up to protect her face, accidentally knocking me back. I bit my lip to hold back my cry from the pain rushing into my arm, I knew that if I made any loud noises James would break down the door and interrupt any chance of this continuing.

What I hear next breaks my heart,

"Please, don't hurt me. Just go away. Please, please, please… Leave me alone…" Her voice is very quiet and whimpering. She sounds like she needs water desperately and I so badly want to give it to her. I ignore the pain and try and come close to her again.

"It's okay, Naomi. It's me, Emily. Everything's going to be alright, I'm here now."

She scoots further away as I go towards her, until she's backed into the wall. She starts to cry and acts frightfully scared, not looking me in the eye, trying to hide herself and make herself smaller. "Please, just stop it. You're not real, I know you aren't. Just stop, please!" Her speech is getting slower, more spaced out and her breathing is getting heavier.

"What do you mean I'm not real? See. I'm here." I touch her arm and give it a light squeeze, saddened by how slim it's gotten, only bone and skin. I let go because her body starts to shake, and she continues her cries, mumbling all sorts of things to herself.

"Emily died. She's dead. Don't believe them; you know it's a lie…. Go away… please…"

"She didn't die, she's alive."

"No, she can't be… they killed her…"

"Who killed her?"

"They did… them… the military… they killed her… you saw it, on the TV, remember it. When everything erupted in Bristol, when everything had just begun. They dropped out of their helicopters and killed everyone. They didn't want it to spread, so they killed everything living and dead… It didn't matter if they weren't sick. Your Emily wasn't sick; she was supposed to come visit you that day. But you saw them shoot everyone there, all the people killed. It didn't matter though, it still spread, it got everyone. She never came in the end. You're all alone now. Don't let them get you… GO AWAY."

I realize she's talking to herself and to me at the same time.

I sit there in shock with what she had just told me. It explained a lot of things that the rest of us could only guess. She faded away as I started to remember that day. I had just picked up James from Gordon's and Katie was riding shotgun because she insisted that I drop her off on the mall before we went back home. We heard gunshots and a few buildings down the street went up in flames. I had no idea what the hell was going on but I hit the breaks and ran out of the car, yelling at James and Katie to follow me. It was almost impossible to hear each other shouting, the gunshots were rapid and getting louder, there were sounds of things exploding.

I thanked the gods when I noticed that we had been right outside Freddie's house. Nobody was home and the door was locked so I quickly took them to the back where I knew there was a shed. The boys we hung out with had mentioned it, and I was so thankful it was real. We all wasted no time getting inside and locking the door to it shut. James told us all to lay flat on the floor under the furniture because whoever was firing would probably be aiming higher. I don't know how long we sat there, just listening to what sounded like the world ending just beyond the shed. It was definitely longer than three days that we all stayed there, not saying a word, just waiting for outside to go silent. I think we were all crying, when we heard the screaming. We prayed to ourselves that when we were brave enough to leave the shed, everything would be back to normal, and nobody we knew would be hurt.

I remember all of us flipping open our mobiles trying to get them to work, but there was no luck. We had no way to contact anyone. And the electricity in the shed wasn't working. Not even when everything went silent again.

I returned my attention back to the cowering girl in front of me, and wanted to cry that it had come to this. I didn't know how I was going to convince her that I was actually here. I had to try.

I slowly moved towards her until our legs were touching. I needed to get her to look at me in the eyes, but she just kept shaking her head and whispering to herself. Gently I reached out my arms towards her, she tried to let out a shriek but was frozen as I cupped her cheeks and forced her to see me.

"Naomi, you're safe now."

Her breathing is quickening and I need to slow it down, before she passes out or something.

I let go of her face when I'm positive she won't move it, then reach down and take her hands from her lap and put them on my cheeks, with my hands resting on top of hers. I turn my face to each side and kiss her palms, still looking her in the eyes, before moving close enough that my forehead is touching hers. She flinches at the contact and I see a tear fall down her face and land onto her shirt.

"I didn't die. They didn't find us; we were hiding in a shed when it happened. I'm so sorry, Naomi. I would never let anything kill me before I could look into your eyes and say I love you at least one last time."

She pulls her hands away from my face out of my own, and tackles me to the floor so she's lying on top of me. Her arms are squeezing around my neck and her legs are wrapped around mine. She cries so hard her body is shaking violently, she can't get herself to talk, just hold me. I'm crying too, mostly because of the unbelievable pain I'm in because her body weight is enough to feel like it's crushing my arm, despite how light she is. I'm also crying because I know she's closer to being alright.

I need to get her off me though, because if I don't I'm going to pass out. I attempt to push her away but she squeezes tighter and I can't help but let out a loud whimper. The door comes crashing down and Katie and James and pulling a kicking and screaming Naomi off of me. I try to tell her it's okay, I'm not going anywhere but she doesn't let up. She cries out that she loves me and slugs Katie in the jaw. I desperately want to get up and comfort her, even though this is my fault in the first place, but I can't move.

Effy is hovering over me giving me more pills and water. Moving me so I'm not leaning on my arm, which I hadn't realized was also contributing to the pain, I was so focused on Naomi.

After ten minutes Naomi passes out having run out of energy quickly because she has no food or water in her, I still wait for the relief to come. I have no energy to answer the rapid questions James and Katie are firing at me about what happened. Effy understands and speaks for me, telling them I'm okay I just need time. They're both irritated that I'm hurt again, once again because of Naomi, but they walk away not wanting to piss either me or Effy off.

An hour later I start to feel a little bit lighter and Effy helps me onto the bed next to Naomi. She leaves and comes back with a few water bottles and cans of tomato soup, putting them next to me before leaving me again. I gently trail my hand along her arm until her eyes flutter open. They go wide when they see me and she grabs onto me again for the life of her.

She's wrapped around me and isn't talking, but breathing heavily. I know she's weak by the way she isn't holding me as tight as she did the first time. Ignoring the ache in my arm I pet her head and back with my free arm telling her I'm not leaving and other comforting things I know she needs to hear right now. After thirty minutes I needed a break from the pressure.

"Naomi, I have three bullet wounds in the arm you are squeezing. I love you. I'm not going anywhere. I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay?" I feel her nod against my shoulder. "We're going to take this very slowly. I want you to lift your head up off my shoulder… good. Now lift your stomach of mine… you're doing great… Now sit up…Okay, now as you move so you are sitting next to me I'm going to let you hold my good hand with both of yours. I'm going to count to three and we're going to do this very slowly." She grips my hand before I start to count. "Yes just like that, you can squeeze that hand as tight as you like…" She weakly squeezes it with as much strength as she can muster. Her blue eyes watching me silently waiting for the next step. "Okay, one… two… three."

She lifts her legs off of me until she's completely off of my body, just holding my hands with hers. And now that that's the only contact we are sharing, it's gotten incredibly tighter. I want to cry at how scared she is that I'm going to vanish if she let's go, but I try to stay strong for her. I don't want to risk getting squished again.

"Naomi, I need you to drink."

She stares at me silently. "I want you to slowly inch your hands onto my wrist, please." She does so. Her arms follow me as I reach with my hand towards one of the water bottles. I place it between my legs so I can get a grip while I twist the cap off. I the now open water bottle in my hand, balancing it as I scoot until I'm sitting between her open legs. I lift it slowly towards her mouth, silently praying she'll accept it.

She opens her mouth and puts her lips around the edge, still holding my wrist as I gently tilt the water. I give her small amounts at a time, not wanting her to choke or her body to reject the sudden things it so desperately needed but had been deprived of for a long time. A couple times she had to stop and cough her throat very dry. She threw up a little onto the floor, but I gave her a hopeful smile and encouraged her to try drinking again. I didn't want to make her sick, so after I got her to take a tiny sip of the condensed soup.

I gave her a break, allowing us to cuddle facing each other as we lay under the blankets together. My arm wasn't happy, but I right now I needed Naomi to get better before I could get myself better.

Every now and then she'd reach out and touch random places on my body making sure I was real. Every time I would smile and tell her I loved her and I wasn't going to disappear. I let my thumb rub back and forth on her cold cheek, trying to put some warmth into her skin. I breathed a sigh of relief, her grip on my wrist relaxed when she fell asleep. I cried quietly, not wanting to wake her. I was so happy to see smile, even if it was in her sleep.

I was about to pull her hands off my wrist so I could lay on my back and relax my arm, but her grip just got tighter as if sensing that I was going to put some distance between us. It took a long time, but after staring at her, allowing myself to finally feel hope for things getting better, I drifted off into my own deep sleep, however as I did so, I was then holding her just as tight as she was holding me.

**AWWW. So, hope that did justice to what was going on. Gave you a bit more insight as to what happened on "that day" as they call it… Anyhow… LET ME KNOW WHAT YA THOUGHT OF THE CHAPTER YEAH? :)**

**Thanks.**


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